The Endless Hurt
by LillyFae
Summary: This oneshot is in honour of Adam, a FanFiction writer bullied to suicide, #ForAdam In this fic, Elphaba reflects on the seemingly endless suffering she endures, and wonders if it's all worth it. Rated M for mentions of suicide and self-harm.


**[Having been inspired by the wonderful author FaerieTales4Ever, I was galvanised to write my own fic based on bullying, in honor of one of our own, Adam, who was sadly bullied to suicide. He was a FanFiction writer, and (even though I don't watch Supernatural), family don't end with blood. So, this fic is most definitely #ForAdam, who did not deserve the horrific treatment he received. Please, to anyone being bullied, ****_it is never your fault_****. The bullies are to blame, and you are special and unique and sparkling and you, and that is perfect. You are not inferior, you are equal. Please, please, please tell someone about it, because I guarantee they will listen. And on the off-chance they don't, come to me. I will always take you seriously, and I will always answer if you contact me. Send me a PM, or leave a review, and I promise to respond.  
>This oneshot is an M, and contains possible triggers for suicidal thoughts and suggestions that are quite graphic. If you don't want to read, please don't. Your well-being comes before my review count.<br>Without further ado, I present to you my oneshot in honour of Adam.]**

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><p>Elphaba was always going to attract attention. Often bad, rarely good and always unwanted.<p>

Being as green as grass, an unusual hue to be in mainstream Oz (and frankly, anywhere else), Elphaba suffered through treatment too harsh to describe, discrimination too insulting to be believed, and bullying far worse than anyone but she could possibly endure.

All because she was green. She was different. She was odd. She was a freak. She was a stain on Oz. She should jump in a lake. She should slit her wrists. She should end her life.

Elphaba endured this treatment from her peers and from strangers, from shopkeepers to stallholders. Everyone stared, and few could look away. A select group ignored it, and treated her as normal, regardless of her skin colour.

Even those close to her weren't completely accepting. Frexspar had obviously favoured crippled, but peach-skinned Nessarose. Not that Elphaba blamed him, Nessa was her favourite too. But maybe if she weren't green, would she be his daughter too?

Many made disgusting comments and snide asides.

Frog-girl.

Freak.

Weirdo.

Lizard-girl.

Cursed.

Abomination.

Filthy.

Evil.

There was no end to the cruel creativity of some. Of most.

Elphaba had hoped in vain that at Shiz University, horizons would be broadened, along with people's tolerance. The bright and good of Shiz would appreciate her intelligence, her ability, her accomplishments. Teachers would applaud her, students would respect her. Who knew, she may even find a few friends.

But the sad, hurtful reality made itself painfully clear the minute she stepped forward for Madame Morrible. Everyone backed away, and when Elphaba's verdant hand was placed upon Galinda's in a gesture of friendship by the schoolmarm, the popular blonde very rapidly yanked her creamy hand away, disgusted at the brief contact with her.

The lengthy weeks of being ignored and shunted away, before Galinda slowly (very slowly) began to warm to Elphaba were tortuous. The clear non-acceptance of the popular, petite, beautiful blonde of the curious, spiky, green Elphaba had essentially allowed the rest of the student population to treat her as they wished.

Avaric was probably the worst. Sticking his arrogant, attractive nose into every situation that included her, worsening the atmosphere and adding an unwanted (by Elphaba at least) comment of his own narrow-minded creation. Ass.

Boq was no help. Alltogether far too smitten with Galinda to see any fault, he defended her to the hilt, holding out desperately for some acknowledgement of his existence from her. And although he was happy to remain Elphaba's friend, he was not prepared to see Galinda in any light other than rose-tinted.

Tibbet and Crope weren't quite as targeted as she, being male. They seemed to be accepted in some form. At least, from what Elphaba could deduct. Their gender seemed to be a shaky, yet functioning shield against the treatment she suffered.

But she was utterly alone in her suffering, alone in her excruciating experiences. No one seemed to care for her feelings, and no one seemed to want to care.

It bothered her, of course. It hurt. It stung. It ached, this constant harrassment that she did not deserve. But she would not show it, for all the rubies in Quadling County. Not for all the gold in the Vinkus. For all the books in Shiz University. Strength and a seeming lack of care were her only weapons, and her arsenal was pitifully small. She was a foot soldier against a decorated General. Elphaba was outnumbered, hopelessly so.

It seemed all hope of acceptance in any way, shape or form was off the cards for her, a distant dream of a possiblilty.

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><p><strong>[Although Elphaba takes this viewpoint, don't copy it. It will always be worth fighting back, and standing up for yourself and anyone you feel is being mistreated or bullied. Thank you for reading, and review if you enjoyed.]<strong>


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